Episode #24 – What happens when a full-time minister goes into a “spiritual coma” for 11 years??
Janice went from being in full time ministry, ministering all over the world with her husband, to one day just saying “I just can’t do this anymore”. Little did she know she was in for an 11 year long journey of deconstructing her faith and learning for the first time who she REALLY was. She had tried to fit in to the various molds that she was given, first in her very conservative church growing up, and later into minister molds. She felt she didn’t know the real Janice.
What happens when you find yourself hitting a wall? When you have nothing left to give mentally, physically, or spiritually? “I didn’t feel as if I had anything to say anymore, and if I did open my mouth to speak, I felt like a fraud. I think looking back, I was getting in touch with the fact that I did not know who I was, and I couldn’t function in that atmosphere anymore”.
For those 11 years, God took her on a journey of self discovery, but more importantly, a discovery about who He was to her. It was during that time that God met her, in a time when she had nothing left to “give” God. She explains how God lovingly came to her and said “Let’s find something that works for you”. God was gracious and kind. Janice felt like she didn’t need to pretend anymore and that she could take off the old “clothes” that didn’t fit her anymore.
“I didn’t know who I was… I was too tired, I didn’t have it in me anymore… I felt nothing. But I felt a huge sense of relief… the only way I can describe it is like going into a Spiritual coma.” If you find yourself in a place where you’re burnt out and no longer recognize the place you’re in, or who you are for that matter, let God come to you and do what he needs and wants to do. You might not know where you’re going, but He’s in control and will take care of you in the journey. “I have a new level of freedom that I can’t even describe”.
To read Janice’s Blog, click here: https://definedbygod.com/what-deconstructing-my-faith-taught-me/